On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize