sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
