Having a random hookup so left but love u
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
