never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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