i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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