I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i now understand why vodka
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
