you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
