i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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