Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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