You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
