I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My vagina just recognized that song.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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