Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
