happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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