Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Bring me that man meat
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
