Small penises have feelings too.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There's always time for handjobs
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
