i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You dont lie about slip and slides
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
