I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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