We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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