she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
