had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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