Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
