I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
