this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
