its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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