I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
