dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
