His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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