That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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