4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
