Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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