I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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