K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
