"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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