what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
