I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize