you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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