Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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