I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
