we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
