when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
