I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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