I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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