My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
