You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
