i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
