We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
