jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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