just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Holy shit dude........stairs
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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