He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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