We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
