She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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