The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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