My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize