you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize