Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize