hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
