Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
NoShamevember. You game?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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