are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Found the puke drawer
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
