i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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