im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
