Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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