New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
